Tuesday, May 26, 2020

Things that make you go HHHuuuuummmm?

For as long as I can remember, I have loved math puzzles.  This one really  works!   
It will take you only about ten seconds and, amazingly, it will reveal your all-time favorite movie.   I'm pretty good at math, so I did it in my head, then on paper, and finally on a calculator just to confirm my calculations.
DO YOUR math.  Calculate the number. Then go to the list below and find the movie with that number.  You will be AMAZED at how true and accurate this test is:

1. Pick a number from 1-9.

2. Multiply that number by 3.

3. Add 3.

4. Multiply by 3 again.

5. Your total will be a two digit number. Add the first and second digits together to find your favorite movie (of all time) in the list of 17 Movies, below.

Movie List:

1. Gone With the Wind
2. ET.
3. Blazing Saddles
4. Star Wars
5. Forrest Gump
6. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
7. Jaws
8. Grease
9. The Donald Trump Resignation Speech
10. Casablanca
11. Jurassic Park
12. Shrek
13. Pirates of the Caribbean
14. Titanic
15. Raiders of the Lost Ark
16. Home Alone
17. Mrs. Doubtfire

... Now, isn't that something?

Vanessa Wassenar
CEO, Creating Resilient Schools
413-458-5693 / 413-441-1600 (cell)/413-458-1952 (Fax)

Corporate Subscriber, National Association of Independent Schools

The goal shouldn’t be to eliminate the unexpected; it should be to build a school resilient enough to capitalize on it.

Tuesday, May 19, 2020

COVID-19 Fake News Conspiracy

COVID-19 Conspiracy, Connecting The Dots, Or Not
by Gary Hooser
A friend recently posted concerns about her mother being in a nursing home where residents had tested positive for the virus. A commenter quickly chimed in: “They are doing it on purpose. Sending corona people to those homes.”
That commenter, and many others, appear to believe that the pandemic is part of an international effort intended to depopulate the planet while making billions in profits off the vaccine. 
Some versions of the theory end in the total subjugation of the remaining population via “medical martial law.” Others believe the vaccine will contain a microchip allowing government to monitor every citizen’s, every move. 5G cell-phone technology is also seen as a key factor in the overall scheme.
Almost daily, I receive email from people urging me to watch various YouTube videos of interviews with seemingly rational and educated experts asserting with the utmost confidence various scenarios.
The basic premise is that entities such as Bill Gates, the Rockefeller Foundation, George Soros, the Deep State, Jeff Bezos, the Military-Industrial Complex (MIC), and/or (fill in the blank), have individually or collectively, in collaboration with China, Russia, the Central Intelligence Agency CIA), Israel, and/or (fill in the blank), engineered and deliberately released into the world the COVID-19 virus.
The online chatter supporting various theories as to the origin of the virus and the intent of various persons, countries, and organizations, has in my opinion, gone way, way over the top.
The nature of a conspiracy theory is that it connects the dots of known truths, with dots of well, it could be true, it was once true, someone told me it was true, and circling back around to known truths, with the dots accumulating and spreading in an ever-widening ring. The more the cycle is repeated, the more believable it becomes.
It is true that overpopulation is seen by many as a primary cause of much of our planet's problems. It’s also true that many organizations have studied and implemented various strategies over the years, from increased access to birth control to government mandates, in an effort to slow population growth.
It’s also true that there is a segment of the population for whom vaccines aren’t good for, with some people becoming sick, or dying, from adverse reactions to certain vaccines.
Various groups and governments have over the years prepared for a COVID-19 type pandemic and even stockpiled supplies in anticipation. That does not mean they engineered it and made it happen.
The well known right-wing talk radio provocateur Rush Limbaugh is fond to say, “Well it could be true!” He is of course, correct. And also incorrect. This type of empty rhetoric echoed by many around the globe is the fuel that every conspiracy theory relies upon.
The earth could also be flat and, in fact, I could show you a dozen studies and a bunch of YouTube videos by ostensibly credible people to prove it.
But it ain’t true.
To be clear, I have an inherent distrust of big pharma, big healthcare, and big money, and I am fully aware that there are bad people, countries, businesses, and various organizations that do bad and arguably very evil things in the world.
But I cannot imagine or believe a scenario where a virus like this is developed and intentionally released as a strategy to achieve world domination, or as a way to make money.
I do my best to “connect the dots” and come to my own conclusions about life. I look first and again last to those people in my community whom I trust. I also review a wide range of media. When a provocative "statement of fact" is made, I look for the source and do my best to determine if the fact is credible or not.  
I often bounce these columns off of friends for review prior to submitting for publication. I was told by a reviewer today: “You are writing an article attempting to reason with irrational people; I don’t know if you can win”.
Perhaps that is the case. But if true, and I cannot win, at least I can have the last word. Suffice to say in conclusion, that we are all better served by making sure the dots we connect are based upon facts, reason, and an underlying faith in humanity.
A longer version of the above was first published in The Garden Island Newspaper, May 13, 2020.

Sunday, May 10, 2020

Keep Smiling

  1. Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
  2. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
  3. I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
  4. My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
  5. I'm so good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.
  1. My boss told me to have a good day.. so I went home.
  2. Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.
  3. A woman walks into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia. The librarian says "They're right behind you!"
  4. The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
  5. Why do blind people hate skydiving? It scares the hell out of their dogs.
  6. When you look really closely, all mirrors look like eyeballs.
  7. My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange" I said: "No it doesn't"
  8. What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? Roberto.
  9. What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? Aye matey.
  1. My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
  2. I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
  3. Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.
  4. I ate a clock yesterday, it was very time consuming.
  5. Whatdya call a frenchman wearing sandals? Phillipe Phillope.
  1. A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
  2. I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.
  3. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
  4. Did you hear about the italian chef that died? He pasta way.
  5. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up? Because it was two tired!
  6. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
  7. My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort.
  8. Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it.
  9. When a deaf person sees someone yawn do they think it’s a scream?
  10. As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.
  11. How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the physco path.
  12. And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life". John came fifth and won a toaster.

Monday, May 4, 2020

More Laughs .....or not!

Words are fun!

  1. What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look! I’m about to change.
  2. I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do *not* read it!
  3. What did one hat say to the other? You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.
  4. Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure? Because he was a little shellfish.
  5. Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "Did you hear about that outbreak of mad cow disease? It makes cows go completely insane!". The other cow replies "Good thing I'm a helicopter".
  6. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
  7. What did the father tomato say to the baby tomato whilst on a family walk? Ketchup.
  8. Why is there a fence around a cemetery? People are dying to get in.
  9. Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park? They woke him up.
  1. How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side.
  2. When will the little snake arrive? I don't know but he won't be long...
  3. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
  4. What has three letters and starts with gas. A Car.
  5. How do you get an astronaut's baby to sleep? You rocket!
  6. I think i would like a job cleaning mirrors, it's just something I could really see myself doing.
  7. Why did it take so long for the pirates to learn the Alphabet? They got stuck at C.
  8. I took the shell off my racing snail thinking it would make him go faster, if anything it made him more sluggish.
  9. Somebody stole my Microsoft office and they're going to pay - you have my Word.
  10. Just remember - you never really completely useless, you can always serve as a bad example.

Here we are in TRUMPISTAN: "Fake Leadership" in action!

  This is the "mutt" we elected!

 China's official news agency releases embarrassingly accurate video mocking Trump's blame-shifting